Relationship Advice
by lowlaury
Summary: Need some relationship advice? Just ask Hollywood Art's most loved couple. - BADE.
1. Chapter 1

**I just _love_ the "relationship advice" videos from TheSlap (.com) and when I saw the new one today I came up with the idea to write some of these myself :] If you don't know these videos, hurry and watch them on The Slap . com or YouTube, they're so good! Anyway, I hope you like this :] Oh, and it's mostly dialogue, just saying.**

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><p><em><strong>Relationship Advice<strong>_

"Hey, I'm Beck."

"Jade."

"And we're here to give you some relationship advice."

"Yeah, whatever."

Beck raised one eyebrow at his girlfriend and then turned back to the camera in front of them.

"Well", he said. "You probably know that we've been dating for longer than 2 years and so a lot of people come up to us and ask for some advice for their own relationships. So, if you have a problem or a question or whatever just mail it to Jade's or mine page on _The Slap_."

"TheSlap_.com_"

"I think people know that by now."

"_Well_, I just wanted to point it out anyway because usually _you_'re the one who insists on explaining every little detail for those losers who are without any talent whatsoever and are not able to make it to our school."

Beck sighed and rolled his eyes, but he knew that arguing would lead nowhere. "It's really nice of you to think of the people who don't go to our school."

"I know."

"OK, so let's read the first question."

"Fine." Jade leaned forward to the laptop and opened the first e-mail. "Hi Beck and Jade, I have a problem blah blah blah whatever."

"Jade, read it properly!"

She let out an annoyed groan. "'Hi Beck and Jade, I have a problem. There is this really cool boy I like but I don't know how to make him notice me. I think he doesn't even know that I exist. Please, please, please help me' - Oh my God, stop being so whiny!"

"Jade!"

She exhaled loudly. "Yeah, I know, 'be nice BLAH.'" She rolled her eyes. "So, whoever wrote this, just go to that boy and ask him out. Tell him he will suffer agonies if he denies."

"_Jade!_"

"If you don't like my advice then give that person a better one, duh!"

Beck gave his girlfriend a quick glance and she smiled at him provokingly. He sighed. "OK, in opposition to my lovely girlfriend, I think threatening him would _not _be helpful in any way. You know, I was in that situation once as well, when I really liked a girl who showed absolutely no interest in me. I asked her out a billion times and her answer would always be 'no'."

Jade threw her head back and groaned for another time. "This is not about giving away private details, Beck."

He turned to look at her, a smile on his face. "I'm just trying to help here, babe.", he said and turned back to the camera. "So, I just stayed persistent and asked her again and again, texted her everyday, got her flowers, chocolate and anything I could come up with until she finally said 'yes'. And now I have a wonderful girlfriend." He smiled at her and she only rolled her eyes. "What I'm trying to say is, there is nothing like trying yourself, just ask him out and see. What is the worst that could happen? Even if he says no, there is no reason to give up so easily. Just believe in yourself and if you really want this, you can make it."

"... that was gross, Beck. You're sounding like some wimp from those hokey 'romantic comedy' movies. Ew."

Beck smirked and pulled her closer to him. "Maybe I did, but what I said has worked for me anyway."

"Yeah, fine, are we done now?"

"If you like."

"Great."

She wanted to get up but Beck retained her and pulled her into a kiss. "I love you.", he said to her softly, when they broke apart.

"The camera's still recording."

"I know."

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><p><strong>Tell me what you think and if I should make more of these!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews :] I will sure go on with this, it's really fun to write! **

**DarkAngel109: Just search "Victorious Relationship Advice" or anything like that on YouTube, you should find it easily. And thanks for your suggestions, I'll consider it :)**

**by the way, I thought, maybe we could make this a little more "interactive" like if you have an idea for a "question" you'd like Beck & Jade to answer, just leave a comment with it and I'll try to make an "episode" of it :) **

**Dialogue only, this time. I hope you can follow.**

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><p>"Jade?"<p>

"What?"

"Can we start this now?"

"I already did."

"Oh, I see... Uhm, well, welcome to our relationship advice."

"You don't have to say that every time. This is not like a show or something."

"Right. So, _just in case_ you don't know, I'm Beck and this is my lovely girlfriend Jade."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"I'd _never_ dare to."

"Beck?"

"Kidding!"

"Fine."

"... yeah, so, let's kick off with the first mail. Do you wanna read it?"

"Yes. ...uh, OK. 'Hey Beck and Jade, my parents won't allow me to let my girlfriend stay over night, what can I do? Have your parents ever allowed you to spend the night? - from Kevin, 15.' - Ha, sweet."

"Be nice, babe."

"I am."

"... So, I think this is a common problem. Parents often care too much and-"

"Just do it in the damn car and don't bother us with such stupid questions!"

"Jade!"

"_What?_"

"Could you please take this serious just for once?"

"No, because it's stupid! People should be smart enough to figure out those things themselves - it's called life!"

"Jade, please."

"Come on, Beck, don't you see that this is pointless?"

"It's not. We can help people."

"I doubt that."

"Fine, then do. So, Kevin, I think you should just talk to your parents and calm them down. Maybe they got the wrong idea of you and your girlfriend. Make clear that you are responsible-minded and won't do anything inappropriate."

"Yeah, right, he just wants to watch a movie with her and hold hands, that's why she needs to stay over night."

"Could you please put your dirty mind aside for a moment?"

"I'm just being realistic."

"You're being rude."

"Well, if I spend the night at your RV, we do-"

"_That's not the issue here._"

"Fine, then just go on with your wimpy talk."

"Right, so like I said, talk to them and make clear what you want to do and what not, so they don't have to worry."

"Because they will believe you for sure that two teenagers alone in a dark room won't do anything dirty."

"Thanks for your very helpful comments."

"You're welcome."

"Yeah, so just tell them, Kevin. And if all else fails, just get an RV and move in there. Your roof, your rules – there you can do what you want."

"_Everything_ you want."

"I think he got it."

"Just wanted to make it clear."

"Yeah."

"We done now?"

"Guess so."

"Good, because I just got some ideas."

"I better turn off the camera now before you tell me."

"You better do."

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Suggestions?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**This is based on DarkAngel109's "question" :]**

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><p>"Is it recording?"<p>

"Yes."

"OK. Hello there! As you may know by now, I'm Beck."

"I'm Jade, his girlfriend. So stay away, girls."

"Yeah, you better do, unless you want trouble with her - and no one wants that."

"Exactly."

"So, we got some mails again. This is from, uh, let's see... from Darren. He wants to know: 'My girlfriend and I are always arguing about the most stupid things, how can we stop that?' - that's a very good question, Darren."

"Just tell her she's right, no matter what it is, and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, as silly as this may sound now, she's right. If it's really something stupid then just say she's right and you won't get into any more trouble. Best thing you can do, honestly."

"What's with that self-pity in your voice?"

"What self-pity?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I mean! So, you never really mean what you're saying when we discuss something?"

"That's not what I said!"

"You just advised that guy to tell his girlfriend lies to make her happy – _honestly_."

"_You_ said so as well!"

"Yeah, _well_, I wasn't talking about _us_."

"Maybe I wasn't, either?"

"_Honestly_?"

"Stop stressing that stupid honestly!"

"You were the one who said it!"

"Give it a rest!"

"_No_! I don't want my boyfriend to lie to me!"

"I am not lying to you!"

"Yes, you are."

"Jade, stop acting like a child."

"I'm not the one lying to you."

"I am _not_ lying to you!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. And don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"That skeptical _I don't believe you_-look."

"I think it's totally appropriate."

"You know what? It's OK. You're right."

"See, you're lying to me!"

"Yeah, like I said: You're right. Because I just lied to you."

"... don't play stupid games with me."

"I can see that smile you're hiding right now~ ..."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't be all _I got you _on me."

"But I did."

"Idiot."

"..."

"Don't kiss me like that when I'm mad at you!"

"You kissed me back."

"I did not."

"We have it on tape, should I check?"

"_Beck!_"

"Alright, alright! But, you see, Darren, just tell her she's right and everything's fine again."

"Stop smiling like a weirdo! You didn't play fair!"

"You're right."

"I hate you."

"Love you, too, Babe."

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><p><strong>Thank you guys for all the suggestions! I'll try to make something of everything you wrote :] And you can still "ask" more, if you like. And please tell me what you think as well :]<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys for all the reviews & suggestions :] Although there is no advice in this one, I'll try to make something of another one of your suggestions in the next "episode" again. I hope you like this anyway, even if it's just a bit of fluff.**

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><p>"Sometimes I wonder why I'm still doing this."<p>

"Because of me."

"I hate to admit it, but you're right."

"I know you love me."

"I know _you_ love _me_."

"That could not be more true."

"... wait, is that thing recording already?"

"Yup."

"Beck!"

"What?"

"Urgh, great, now this is taped."

"So?"

"It's gross."

"That we love each other?"

"Don't say it!"

"But it's true."

"_Beck!_"

"I love you."

"Stop it! Why do you always have to embarrass me?"

"I don't know, maybe because I love you."

"You're such a child."

"Come on, say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you love me, too."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I will not say something like that in front of a camera."

"Come on, babe. Just three little words."

"End of conversation!"

"Nah, I know you wanna, come on."

"Definitely not."

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"Did you really just say that?"

"I did."

"Oh my God, Beck, what are you? A 7-year old who begs for a cookie?"

"No, a 16-year old who's in love."

"I'll just leave now."

"Nah, you won't."

"I won't?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why won't I?"

"Because you love me and I ask you to stay."

"OK, that's it. I'm out of this."

"No, Jade, wait!"

"Let go of my arm, Beck!"

"Only if you'll stay."

"Only if you'll stop annoying me."

"OK, fine. I will do that because you asked me for it and I love you."

"... Bye."

"Oh come on, just say it and I'll stop."

"Turn off the camera."

"You'll tell me then?"

"Maybe."

"Why can't I let it roll?"

"Why would you want to? Do you enjoy embarrassing me in front of everyone?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because it's sweet to have something like that to show our children and grandchildren later."

"Oh my God..."

"What?"

"Are you out of mind?"

"No, my mind is perfectly OK."

"Then what on earth are you thinking about?"

"Our future?"

"We're sixteen!"

"So?"

"_We're sixteen!_"

"You're repeating yourself."

"You're crazy."

"No, I'm in love."

"Who's the one repeating himself here?"

"Come on, are you never thinking of how this might go on?"

"Not _that _far."

"Wouldn't you wanna have children with me?"

"I'm not having that conversation."

"Why? Wouldn't you?"

"Shut up, Beck."

"You wouldn't marry me in the future?"

"... Oh, look, I think it's about time to give some advice!"

"Don't try to change the subject. Tell me!"

"I love you."

"... you really said it!"

"I did. Happy?"

"Yes... no, wait, I'm not! You haven't answered my other questions yet!"

"And I won't do that until 10 years from now."

"So you think we'll still be together in 10 years?"

"Stop smiling like that."

"You do! I knew it!"

"I didn't say so!"

"You didn't have to, I'm a professional mind-reader."

"Stupid."

"Love you, too."

"You're aware of the fact that this video will never _ever_ find its way to public, right?"

"Sure."

"_Beck!_"

"I said 'sure'!"

"And you better mean it! I will kill you if I ever find any of this on _The Slap_!"

"Don't worry, I'll keep this safe so our grandchildren can watch it some day."

"That's it. I'll leave now."

"Wait a sec, I'll come with you!"

"Don't you dare! I don't wanna see your face until you got rid of those idiotic thoughts!"

"Fine, I won't mention it for the next 10 years."

"Good boy."

"Guess we won't give any more relationship advice today, will we?"

"No, I think I have some better ideas."

"Can't wait to hear!"

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><p><strong>Thoughts? :] And please tell me if you're getting tired of that dialogue-only thing, I'll try to actually write more then.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello there, it's Beck and Jade.", Beck said and smiled into the camera.

Jade didn't even bother to look up and checked her nails. "Yup."

Ignoring his girlfriends' rudeness, he continued. "We got a lot of questions again! Thanks for your... uh... trust?"

"Yeah, just read a question and get this over with."

Beck sighed and leaned forward to his PearBook, going through his mails. "Sure, babe. So here's the first one: 'My friend told my crush I like him and now my crush keeps staring at me. What does it mean and what can I do?' Oh, did your friend do that without asking you first? That's not nice."

"That person didn't ask for your pity but for advice.", Jade stated grumpily and rolled her eyes.

Beck put his arm around her shoulder and faced his girlfriend. "Why are you in a bad mood, babe?", he asked soothingly. She didn't turn to look at him and crossed her arms.

"I'm not in a bad mood."

"I think you are."

"Am not."

He sighed once again. "Fine. Then let's give some advice." He turned to the camera again. "OK, so I think if your crush is staring at you now, your chances are pretty good that he or she likes you back and waits for you to make the first move."

"Or he or she keeps a lid on you to make sure you're not a stalker or something. You could be some creep.", Jade said drily.

"Can't you just for once believe in the good in man?"

"There is no good."

"Come on, how about... me? I'm pretty nice, am I not?" He grinned at her.

"You were born in Canada."

"That has _nothing_ to do with it!"

"Hasn't it?", she asked teasingly.

"No!" He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Let's just answer this properly, will we?"

"Fine. But hurry."

"Sure. So if I were you, whoever wrote this, just try to make the first step now. Your crush seems interested in you - in whichever way – and you can only find out by asking. Go for it!", Beck explained and smiled into the camera. Jade was silent, only tapping her foot impatiently. He shot a questioning glance at her. "What?"

"What what? I'm waiting for you to finish.", she told him and turned her head to face him.

"OK, well, I guess I have now.", he said. "But we could answer another o-" He stopped in the middle of the sentence as their eyes met. Jade smirked at him, raising an eyebrow and then leaned forward to kiss him.

"You really want to?", she asked him as they broke apart.

"Nah, let's call it a day.", he said grinning and kissed her again, while blindly reaching for the camera to turn it off.

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><p><strong>Uh... yeah, so that happens when I actually don't feel like writing another chapter for this but kinda feel pressured into doing so. This started off as something I wrote to kill time and I will keep it that way from now on, meaning that I will not update this on a regular basis but only when I feel like writing another "advice". Otherwise it doesn't really work out anyway, as you can see.<strong>

**... sorry for sounding so rough, I'm just totally not in the mood for this right now :/**


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